Day 13: I was to talk with my hubby about establishing healthy rules of
engagement. If he wasn't ready for this, then I was to write out my personal
rules to 'fight' by. I was to resolve to abide by them when the next
disagreement occurred. If a house is divided against itself, that house will
not be able to stand.
Day 14: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just to be together.
My day got messed up right from the start. First of all, my sister-in-law, who was helping me care for my baby while am at work, also happens to be a very desperate attention seeker, which I find so so sooo tiring. Its like...if I did something that doesn't include her, its a problem - she will be moody all day, which, God forbid, might in turn be taken back upon my baby. So, I have always been very careful around her just to ensure my baby is also comfortable, at least until she is old enough to tell me if she is being treated well or not.
Anyways, on Thursday, I notice she was limping like she had a broken leg. Friday, she wasn't. Saturday, she wasn't. But we had agreed with hubby that we would just take her to hospital, anyways, just to be sure she is well. The fight started when my hubby wanted to go alone with the girl, and I told him it wasn't right for him to go alone with her. As matter of fact, I also wanted to come along. I didn't want to be left alone.
Besides, I had left sooooo much work on my desk, saying I wanted to spend all my weekend with my hubby, etc. He had better plans and higher priorities than us.
On Saturday morning, he left to watch a basket ball game, leaving us behind, not even saying goodbye to our baby who was desperately looking forward to a hug or at least a smile. waaa! nothing. It broke my heart.
Then we get ready and I decide to drive the girl to hospital. I gave her her full privacy so she could open up freely to the doctor, and not hide anything. check-ups were done on her, nothing was wrong. Even the crazy desperate limp she had on Thursday was merely from an insect bite! I asked myself - which Ugandan insect bites you till you limp like yo leg is broken????? someone please enlighten me.
Anyways, we get the bill and it was 5,000 shillings more than all the money I had in my life at that moment. I tried to beg the doctors to subsidize for me....nothing! They were beginning to shout at me in the corridors till all the patients could see that I didn't have enough money to pay. I was so so soooo embarrassed. Tried to call my husband just for emotional support, and I expected him to help me think clearly and hopefully we come up with a solution. Instead, he blames me for insisting on taking the girl (- yet I begged him to come with me and he jammed - looked like it was me he didn't want to be in the same car with ....I cant be sure); going to an expensive hospital( - as if he had suggested cheaper options to me beforehand. I mean, this is the hospital we always go to. I couldn't think of any other off the top of my head.) I decided to leave the girl at the hospital and rush to a nearby ATM, which was like 10kms from the hospital. Police stopped me on the way because the road was closed down for some Heads of Governments who were visiting the country....etc. Police shouts down on me like crap. My baby, who was very hungry coz I had only packed for her yoghurt knowing we wouldn't stay for long, burst out crying in the back seat. I was so stressed. I needed my hubby so badly. But thinking about the fact that he had refused to come with me....I felt so lonely and stressed. Anyways, God saw us through. I had to drive back to the hospital and sat in the car so so sooo stressed, not thinking. After like 30 minutes, with baby crying like madness, I begged hubby to send me some money on the mobile money thing. He sent, we paid, and left the place.
Hubby spent almost the whole day away, coming back for like an hour during the day only to go away again, and returned after 11pm....I felt totally neglected.
That evening, after all the stress I had gone through, this same girl decides she didn't want to talk to me. I ask her, no answer. ah! I decided I had had enough. I planned on how to tell my husband to take her home. As it turns out, I didn't even have to tell this to my hubby.
In the morning, she wakes up all shivering.....acting really, coz her actions weren't even consistent with the illness she was trying to fake. I asked her what was wrong again this time.....coz I knew she had finished every single coin I had on me the day before....and had told the doctor that there was nothing wrong with her. She said she wanted to go home. I told her to pack and go. I was tired.
The whole day was messed again. Hubby goes away from 10am till 3pm, leaving me alone with the baby....we were both so tired of each other. I was so frustrated. I just really wanted to be with hubby, but he didn't want to be with me. Whenever I told him how much I really needed him to be there for me emotionally, he just looked at me and didn't give a damn. This hurt. I cried a lot. Anyways, this too shall pass.
I have to get back on track. I need to get a new care giver for my baby. My sister is helping me for this week. I pray God gives me someone who is really grateful for the efforts I put in making them comfortable.
Day 14: Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just to be together.
My day got messed up right from the start. First of all, my sister-in-law, who was helping me care for my baby while am at work, also happens to be a very desperate attention seeker, which I find so so sooo tiring. Its like...if I did something that doesn't include her, its a problem - she will be moody all day, which, God forbid, might in turn be taken back upon my baby. So, I have always been very careful around her just to ensure my baby is also comfortable, at least until she is old enough to tell me if she is being treated well or not.
Anyways, on Thursday, I notice she was limping like she had a broken leg. Friday, she wasn't. Saturday, she wasn't. But we had agreed with hubby that we would just take her to hospital, anyways, just to be sure she is well. The fight started when my hubby wanted to go alone with the girl, and I told him it wasn't right for him to go alone with her. As matter of fact, I also wanted to come along. I didn't want to be left alone.
Besides, I had left sooooo much work on my desk, saying I wanted to spend all my weekend with my hubby, etc. He had better plans and higher priorities than us.
On Saturday morning, he left to watch a basket ball game, leaving us behind, not even saying goodbye to our baby who was desperately looking forward to a hug or at least a smile. waaa! nothing. It broke my heart.
Then we get ready and I decide to drive the girl to hospital. I gave her her full privacy so she could open up freely to the doctor, and not hide anything. check-ups were done on her, nothing was wrong. Even the crazy desperate limp she had on Thursday was merely from an insect bite! I asked myself - which Ugandan insect bites you till you limp like yo leg is broken????? someone please enlighten me.
Anyways, we get the bill and it was 5,000 shillings more than all the money I had in my life at that moment. I tried to beg the doctors to subsidize for me....nothing! They were beginning to shout at me in the corridors till all the patients could see that I didn't have enough money to pay. I was so so soooo embarrassed. Tried to call my husband just for emotional support, and I expected him to help me think clearly and hopefully we come up with a solution. Instead, he blames me for insisting on taking the girl (- yet I begged him to come with me and he jammed - looked like it was me he didn't want to be in the same car with ....I cant be sure); going to an expensive hospital( - as if he had suggested cheaper options to me beforehand. I mean, this is the hospital we always go to. I couldn't think of any other off the top of my head.) I decided to leave the girl at the hospital and rush to a nearby ATM, which was like 10kms from the hospital. Police stopped me on the way because the road was closed down for some Heads of Governments who were visiting the country....etc. Police shouts down on me like crap. My baby, who was very hungry coz I had only packed for her yoghurt knowing we wouldn't stay for long, burst out crying in the back seat. I was so stressed. I needed my hubby so badly. But thinking about the fact that he had refused to come with me....I felt so lonely and stressed. Anyways, God saw us through. I had to drive back to the hospital and sat in the car so so sooo stressed, not thinking. After like 30 minutes, with baby crying like madness, I begged hubby to send me some money on the mobile money thing. He sent, we paid, and left the place.
Hubby spent almost the whole day away, coming back for like an hour during the day only to go away again, and returned after 11pm....I felt totally neglected.
That evening, after all the stress I had gone through, this same girl decides she didn't want to talk to me. I ask her, no answer. ah! I decided I had had enough. I planned on how to tell my husband to take her home. As it turns out, I didn't even have to tell this to my hubby.
In the morning, she wakes up all shivering.....acting really, coz her actions weren't even consistent with the illness she was trying to fake. I asked her what was wrong again this time.....coz I knew she had finished every single coin I had on me the day before....and had told the doctor that there was nothing wrong with her. She said she wanted to go home. I told her to pack and go. I was tired.
The whole day was messed again. Hubby goes away from 10am till 3pm, leaving me alone with the baby....we were both so tired of each other. I was so frustrated. I just really wanted to be with hubby, but he didn't want to be with me. Whenever I told him how much I really needed him to be there for me emotionally, he just looked at me and didn't give a damn. This hurt. I cried a lot. Anyways, this too shall pass.
I have to get back on track. I need to get a new care giver for my baby. My sister is helping me for this week. I pray God gives me someone who is really grateful for the efforts I put in making them comfortable.
